Are you alcohol dependent?
Does alcohol play too important, or consistent, a part in your life? It could be that you are alcohol dependent.
While we all know the terms ‘alcoholic’, and ‘addiction’, the term ‘alcohol dependent’ is perhaps new to most. In essence, it sums up a situation where alcohol has become more than simply an occasional or weekend experience, and is impinging upon day to day life, with the very many negative effects you might expect.
In the last several months, I have had many fascinating conversations with new clients about their realisation that they have become alcohol dependent, and their fear that this might soon translate into an alcohol addiction.
So what does alcohol dependency look like? In short, it looks like a habit of regular drinking that you follow without consideration for your health or wellbeing, your ability to function fully at work or in your relationships.. It doesn’t look like the stereotypes of alcoholism you see in films or TV, with vodka hidden in water bottles or kitchen cupboards – but it could start to look like that, without some care and attention.
Do you feel you need a drink to be able to unwind or relax? Do you need a drink to be able to engage in social situations? Do you use alcohol as a coping mechanism, to deal with stressful days or uncomfortable emotions? Do you find yourself opening a bottle of wine, or pouring a beer or a gin the moment you arrive home from work? Does a night of Netflix and chill, even mid-week, require a glass or several of something alcoholic? Do you feel like a night out isn’t fun without a drink? Do you sometimes wake up after a night out with memory loss?
Alcohol dependency – or pre-alcoholic stage
The pre-alcoholic stage occurs before alcohol is ever a real problem. It’s difficult to identify because alcohol has yet to cause any significant issues, problems and drinking has not become compulsive – at this stage, you are still choosing to have a drink, it’s a habit, not a physical need.. Even those in the pre-alcoholic stage are unlikely to see and understand that their drinking may eventually progress into something serious.
Early-Stage Alcoholism
Early-stage alcoholism is when people begin binge drinking regularly and may even black out occasionally. The NHS defines binge drinking as ‘drinking heavily over a short space of time’. And say that more than eight units of alcohol in a single session for males, or more than six units in a single session for females can be defined as binge drinking. When you appreciate that there are on average three units of alcohol in one large glass of wine, you can see how easy it is to tip into this unhealthy, and damaging, position.
This is the stage when understanding and acknowledging that you have a problem is crucial to avoiding that next step, into alcoholism. You might argue that you don’t feel drunk after two, three or even four glasses of wine, but this in itself is a red flag, as it suggest you have built a tolerance to alcohol that drives you to imbibe more to achieve the ‘buzz’ you crave.
How do we treat alcohol dependency with BWRT®?
For treating alcohol dependency we use Level 2 BWRT®. Level 2 focuses on what you see as being your ‘core identity’, our sense of self, of who we are and how others perceive us – it is the driver behind every decision you make and every action you take. Our core identity is influenced by our histories, and how we believe we fit into the community we are part of – from family to colleagues to friends.
Often, it is our core identity that is driving unhealthy decisions – telling us we ‘need’ to act in a certain way, or are expected by others to behave in a certain way, and it is beyond us to be somebody else.
Excitingly, our core identity is actually something we can influence, something we can change. By working with a Level 2 trained BWRT® practitioner, you can change not only the drinking habits that may be leading you along a dangerous path, but also the drivers – beliefs and perceptions – that influence those habits.
Case study
I met John first when his partner called me to ask about my work. She was concerned that his pattern of drinking each night at home, even though not heavily, and regular ‘big nights out with the boys’, was damaging his health, his relationship with her and his relationship with their young children. Increasing incidents of memory loss, not to mention weekend mornings lost to recovering from the night before, were having a powerful effect on their lives.
Speaking with John, it became clear he was not, yet, an alcoholic – there were evenings or weekends when he didn’t have a drink at all. However, he was ready to acknowledge that alcohol was far too important an aspect of his life to be considered safe.
“A bottle of wine in the evening was a habit I got into during lockdown,” he says. “Just having to walk downstairs to my laptop meant a hangover was fine – no commute, no worries. And soon I didn’t get a hangover, so didn’t really think too much about how much I was drinking. I have been in the habit of the ‘lads’ night out’ with my friends for years – but recently realised that I was always the one ordering the extra round, the one pushing for another drink – the one who couldn’t always remember everything that happened.
“Speaking with Sally, I realised that I had for too long identified as ‘the fun one’, always up for a laugh, always at the heart of the party. But, I don’t want to be the fun one, if that means being the drunk.
“I justified my mid-week drinks too easily. Oh, I have had a stressful day… Oh, I can’t watch football without a beer… But really, I don’t need excuses, I just want a drink, because that’s who I am, that’s what I do.
“With Sally’s help, we identified a new core personality – someone who doesn’t need a drink at all to relax, to have fun, to be fun. I decided to stop drinking completely. I recognised I was still fully functional, but actually at risk of slipping into a tougher situation.
“I now feel I have control over situations where I think I didn’t really feel that before. I can now easily request a non-alcoholic beer, when I am out with the lads, and no longer feel obliged to be the life and soul of the party.
“And what’s really interesting is that a couple of my friends are following suit, no more drunken nights out just because that’s what we have always done – and that feels really good.
“Life at home is good, too. No more Saturdays feeling rough, my sleep is so much better during the week – and I am saving a fortune!
“Sally didn’t once offer any judgement. She made me feel safe and listened to and fully understood at every session. I didn’t need to verbalise how I felt about myself – it’s not therapy, it’s a tool for positive change – so I was able to examine the core identity I was living with, and work with her to identify the core identity I want for myself, and together make the change.”
If you feel that alcohol is playing too big a part in your lifestyle, if anything you have seen above rings an uncomfortable bell, please call for a free consultation.
BWRT® is not a treatment for alcoholism, but can be used a treatment to support maintaining a life where alcohol plays a very different, or no part.